Twins

The same fair visage
falls on you both
and for that my eyes have named you twins.
Perhaps my heart as well,
for in recoiling from him
these eyes have sought you out
more than ever before.

But not in love, do I seek you.
None of my thoughts wish to take that direction
for you will never be
the one I seek.

Yet, in being twins
even if in only image
to find ease in your presence
will give me shield
to find ease in again in his.
posted by LynneElf at 9:23 PM

Waiting in the Evening

I felt you tonight.
As the light eve slipped into twilight
I felt you
you were thinking about me
asking the same questions
when
when
and we both know it won't be soon
but I felt you
and you thought of me.

It's gone now.
You faded, shifted away
and I stand
just outside the edge of your thoughts
But when
will someday become
soon
you'll see these words
and you'll shift back
like being slammed into light
and you'll think of me
as I will feel it.
posted by LynneElf at 12:43 AM

I never told you
though the thought has been with me
countless times.
I cannot say that I love you
nor that I ever did
the words sound too strange
even on the inside
but that does not mean
you have no meaning to me.
I cannot recall a time
where I did not think you beautiful
but your worth to me is more than that...
more becuase you...
you don't even realize you helped bring me home
that you woke up my faith.
It's not often that you can tell someone
"you brought me closer to God"
but it is something I can
and should someday
say to you.
posted by LynneElf at 10:33 PM

Brushing Blue Upon Blue

I'm starting to understand you a little.
The first time watching you play and move
left only confusion.
I didn't want to see moments of quiet,
or of standing still,
dead time to my eyes.

I almost walked away
but sound called me back
with those fascinating rhythyms.
And in listening, I began to see...

The silence, the dark moments
were more jaring than the noise,
stripping the heart maskless.
It went deeper
where I didn't expect to feel.

The light moments, the craziness, still bring joy
but I am called back
more
by that pulse beneath the sounds.

You revealed my own silence, my own darkness
that wrench of pain
of standing alone.
But even then,
while still echoing with the strife and tension,
they all begin to ease...
Softened by the touch of knowledge
that someone else felt the same
and could see.
posted by LynneElf at 6:25 PM

His Voice

If only you realized what it did to me
tendrils of music
winding around my heart
like a soft caress, before it squeezes me tightly.

It's an effort
not to shiver
or sigh
when I hear you singing softly.
posted by LynneElf at 11:49 PM

I still see perfection
in your face, eyes, voice.
Strangers catch my eye, when they remind me of you.
You are... were...
something of a dream to me,
like a fleck of moonlight.
But like that light
you cannot be held,
and dreams, even perfection,
will not stop me
as I turn to leave.
posted by LynneElf at 1:11 AM

I sang today
for the first time in my true voice
the one I'm so scared to use
outside of my car

Although scared still at times
and stiff with tension
--especially today as I await the possible callback--
there was comfort in that voice for once.
posted by LynneElf at 2:20 PM